In honor of Jesse hosting SNL this weekend (1/29/11) I am re-posting this piece - originally posted 10/5/09 @ 1:14pm
A PITCH MEETING WITH JESSE EISENBERG
Hey Jesse - thanks for coming in. I have several new projects that I think you are gonna love.
That sounds awesome. I'm really looking forward to branching out into some interesting and challenging character work.
Great! So first up is a commercial spot for a big soft drink- and we also want to talk to your sister Hallie Kate about this.....So it's set in an Italian restaurant and..
Stop. It sounds like "The Godfather Girl" spot , plus one.... I'm not interested
Great! I totally understand Ok.... so I have a couple of films for your consideration.
The first project is titled: 'Rye Playland' and it's....
Hold on just a sec.... is that set in the Amusement Park Rye Playland?
Yup! In Rye NY! You're from New York right?!
Ok - cause I'm kinda trying to move away from the whole amusement park genre thing - after starring in Adventureland and Zombieland...ya know?
Gotcha - well true, this one is set in an amusement park - but here's the catch...
you would NOT be a virgin....
Hmmm... interesting - but still I think I want to avoid the amusement park thing....
I mean I'm not even amused by amusement parks in real life... so whatever...what else do you have?
Ok - this film sounds hilarious... it's called "This Land is Your Land" and...
Yeah, I'm kinda also trying to avoid movies with the word "Land" in them, but maybe
I can consider it - if there are no amusement parks involved...
Great! well- it's a mockumentary so it will be hilarious.. and you will play this guy
who is a Roller Coaster enthusiast who travels across the country trying to break
the Guinness book of World Records in Coaster....
Stop right there. So It has the word Land, and is all about Amusement Parks...and I am assuming my character is a virgin?
Well - yes - but the good new is - you will get to wear brown corduroy pants & a hoodie,
and you get to shyly make out with a hot brunette chick....
Ok. I'm outta here.... (leaves)
Wait! How about hosting Saturday Night Live?
Jesse: (comes back in the room)
Yeah .....NOW you're talkin'!
Written by: Evie Aronson 10/5/09